The Expendables is the name given in this film to the scarred clutch of weathered mercenaries who are led, written & directed by the inimitable Sylvester Stallone.
A more fitting name for them might be the Extendables, since a significant proportion are heroically defying the usual laws of time & gravity.
Among the oldies alongside Stallone are Dolph Lundgren – the granite-jawed blond from Rocky IV – Bruce Willis, & Mickey Rourke. Even Arnie Schwarzenegger appears for a cameo & a spot of appallingly clunky verbal sparring with Sly.
In action terms, it’s like a bunch of superannuated Tiller girls getting together for a last summer show of high kicks: the moves are still there, but there’s a suspicion that they’re assisted by an elastic corset & four Nurofen And. The gang are joined by knife-man Jason Statham, who represents the troubled spirit of youth.
One might have expected from the billing a knowing air of parody about the whole escapade, the sophisticated whisper of spoof. But no: this is Stallone’s film, & they has crafted it with a simple, touching sincerity.
As a faithful devotee of the action style, they wishes to give it to the audience straight, without plenty of devilish computer tricks. I craved more of Rourke, the group’s co-ordinator – who first appears like some lunatic, tattooed shaman with a cheerfully plastic blonde dangling from the back of his motorbike – but they is kept away from the meat of the action, as though his flamboyance might show great a distraction.
Stallone’s face is now a thing to behold, an immobile mass of muscle & cosmetic surgical procedure, trapped in an expression of wounded melancholy: they has to do all his acting with his eyes, like a silent film star.
There's moments when I feared for him, in the work of the scene in which he’s being inexorably throttled, & every vein in his head looks set to make an individual bid for freedom, but one can’t fault his dedication.
The plot is to pin a string of battles on: at the behest of a CIA front-man (Willis), the Expendables are dispatched to overturn the rotten government of a tin-pot state called Vilena, where a suavely nasty American drugs baron, James Munroe (Eric Roberts) is bullying a weak general (David Zayas) in to enacting various forms of oppression.
The General’s daughter (Giselle Itié) is spiritedly leading the opposition, & it falls to Sly & his men to save her from rape, torture & murder.
It’s the kind of plot that might have pleased a bunch of Anglo-Saxon warriors in their mead-hall, but after some time my senses felt bruised & wearied from the wealth of exploding torsos & the inexorable rattle of machine-gun fire.
That’s action, I guess, & lovely luck to you in case you like that kind of thing. It’s not my kind of action.
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